Deelah’s Diary The Stigma
This is the song Richard sings to school every day when I take him to the creche, he started walking at 10months! He started talking very early too, and he loves singing, so bubbly and full of life. On this faithful day, he settled into his class and waved back at me, my playful boo boo.
On my way back home, a bike pulled off beside me and it was Kunle, smiling at me, he said, ‘hey you, where are you shaking bombom to?’ I laughed so loud in the quietness of our estate, truly my bombom is massive, my hips is 57! It was a burden for me then but I carried it so well (lolz). Kunle came to see his friend that stayed in my estate too and promised to check on me later.
For the very first time after childbirth, I felt so lonely, I haven’t had sex in months, yikes! I didn’t know how horny I was because I was busy taking care of my bundle of joy so sex didn’t really come to mind. I was also breastfeeding Richard, he suckled on my teats for a year! He rejected every other food except breast milk, fantastic feel yeah?!
Pause a second, let me quickly hint you a flashback! I met a man through an aristo chick back then in school who promised to marry me even after we meet again and saw me in a pregnant state. At first, I thought he was just saying it until I saw him again in my parents’ house with the same statement o! I said No because everything just looks like Nollywood love story Sha… that alone got me thinking, is it possible?
Deelah’s Diary The Stigma
Fast forward okwia… Kunle came back to visit as promised, we had a long talk and the chemistry mix happened…kissed and suddenly stopped! Now that was an American movie move(lols). The first time a guy kissed me and realized he needed to match the brakes and not accelerate. Then he popped it.., ‘ I really like you, I have fallen for you but the part of you being a mother is what scares me, my mom won’t accept you.’
There and then I just told him fine but he should please finish what he started, my guy didn’t and went further, ‘why should I take advantage of you when I know it’s not leading anywhere?’ Gosh do guys like this still exist?
He broke me I won’t lie because that was when I realized the stigma against a single lady having a kid. I cried so much because I really enjoying getting to know him, he was a principled guy, knew what he wanted but as at then we couldn’t choose much (wonsinbowa ni). Gosh I missed that one man that loves me for me but chill, is it that bad to have a kid without being married? (sobs) But when a man is a baby daddy, he’s cool with no stigma! It’s all yucky! I need to express and shake this off maybe I will lose weight (sobs)☺️…
I will like to use this medium to wish all the beautiful mothers in the world both single and married a happy mothers day, Happy Mother’s Day, and thank you for your service. We salute you. We won’t be here if it wasn’t for you. Happy Mother’s day!
DEELAH’S DIARY THE STIGMA Written by Yetunde Deelah Adebayo