I woke up today really feeling lazy and I had plans o but this COVID-19 lockdown ain’t helping matters at all. The whole thing is getting to me! I’m not feeling lonely but just sad that all isn’t just working (sobs) my heart is so heavy that the country is so fucked and all is just at a standstill yet some are … the tears won’t just stop an, dropping uncontrollably! No job, business is dull, savings just dey blink RED!!! Whenever I get this way, I think so deep and flashbacks just creeps in…
Every year till Richard was 7 years old, I always celebrated his birthday with my family but his dad was never around though had fun. I made sure there was a cake for every year and he loves taking pictures but not as much as he did then. Anytime I found myself alone, I cried so much, why? Nothing was forthcoming as per help. I had so many opportunities, I knew influential people too but all they wanted was sex before rendering assistance! I tried so hard to get a job, hmmm oju RI to oo. The person you meet and talk to about your unemployed state wants to have sex with you…read again, sex and not a relationship o!
Matter con worse ehn, the person wey you follow talk say you need job no be the one wey go fix you o, na another person wey go talk to another person wey Sabi the boss gangan and all go dey say same thing… sex and the job sef no go show! Well some of us no dey lucky because some no go even do pass one man before her file reach Directors table, inside life…
My mom just called me again… kilosele gan? He’s leaving, ehen mom kini kinse si? (what should I do about him leaving?) Then she dropped the bombshell… He said he’s got a job now and he wants to marry you. You know that feeling when something just strikes you, a fun vibe and you burst out with a loud laughter. I couldn’t control it and by the time I did, I just said, ‘ leekelo?’ (meaning how many times o?) I just kept talking and said to him I wasn’t interested… He just stood there like a dead wood then opened his mouth and said sorry! Sorry nkwa? Laagomelo? 6 years of neglect and now said he wants to marry me and live with me forever? Mixed feelings o! Fuck, I still loved him then!
Diary of A single Black Mom
Sometimes I regret ever taking that step though I had no choice because my mom was just on my neck to get married and to the father of my child! I could have stuck with Ayopo, a guy I fell in love with too while dating Mike. God knows I miss him. Ayopo was a friend turned lover but fate tore us apart.
Abi you go marry am? Your thoughts right? I kuku did but had I known, I wouldn’t have. Mike was a different man from school days, I thought he had stopped his habit of drinking, little did I know he grew deeper in it. I got a call one afternoon that he fainted and was admitted, I rushed to the hospital to see him… All this wahala in the midst of planning a wedding o! All the while I had my doubts about him but maami didn’t see my point, all she wanted was ibujoko for her daughter but I was feeling bad vibes… I told Mom No, I can’t do this, she said yeah you will… Chai! Hmmm, all was a lie!
Maatojue, I will cherish you, etc. I got married after so much talk but he had plans… But why would you lie just to displease people? Like the Zeeworld series, ‘twist of fate’, mine started that same night. He said he booked a hotel for the honeymoon and it turned out to be his brother’s house, chai efon je pirigidi similara (mosquitoes finished me), the kind heat wey burn my skin, I never see for pikin body.
Hmmm to top it all, his girlfriend called him, he didn’t pick then got up like he needed to take a leak but by the time he got back, a text had dropped and I read it… You know that N70 Nokia phone, when a message drops, it stays on the screen, I read and my jaw dropped!
He came back and looked at me and said to me, ‘ you bear my surname now, there’s no time for your nonsense or else…’ Hahaha, me Mike! He hissed and left. From there to his family house and na there I entered suffer season phase II!!! Funny I didn’t mention his mom abi? Because she couldn’t do Jack, he never regarded her! So many wrongs just opening up.
He was to drop 20k for upkeep he promised and handed me 5k which I threw back at him immediately! Ahhhh laye mi… house caught fire as I lashed him words!!! He started threatening he won’t give me money again bla bla but I wasn’t bothered o, all I wanted was what he promised… 20k! I heard his threat and looked at him straight in the eyes, ‘I will leave and nothing will happen!’ he said if I left, he won’t come to beg me, I laughed and hissed so much… this was just 2weeks after the wedding! I opened the door to his konkolo room that I managed to squeeze in my big box, got it out and that was when he made the statement if I left he won’t come to beg me, nonsense talk!
Na wah o, see me remembering all… That same day, my lecturer called to wish me a happy married life… 2 days later, we got talking and asked where I was, and I told him. Chei sharp guy, as I threw it, he caught it once! I took my bath and told Mike’s sister I needed some air at about 4 pm. I walked down the street gently as I be brand new and immediately I got to the bend, I ran and jumped into his car and zoomed off. That’s one legbegbe I did and I enjoyed and didn’t feel any guilt at all!!!
The house I slept wasn’t even theirs,na neighbors because his own family house was whack! Love dey blind but to those who no wan open eyes like me, I thought yoruba talk say, na inside black pot white pap dey comot? Mike no be white at all, as the pot black hin too dark! Wicked something. See me smiling as I walked from the road into dem street like I won a bet, walahi sex sweet! E go make your eyes pop, change ur waka pattern come give you that sekem feel… e pass when Hennessy enter body! Gbona!!! I got back home, had my bath and laid on the flat mattress, iya tije mi sha…but I had mad time and to sleep no hard me, me wey e don starve die! Oya, Deelah needs to pick boos call ooo, baby, kisses.